Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Assesment of all the Friday the 13th Movies

As critically panned as it is large, the Friday the 13th series has been around for almost 3 decades. There's many traditions in the series, both intentional and unintentional that make it interesting. For instance it has many well-known actors in some of their earliest roles, like Kevin Bacon, Cory Feldman and Crispin Glover.

Since critically the series is a hopeless mess of celluloid, my ratings will be based purely on enjoyment.

There's some spoilers in all of this...

Let's start this:

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Friday the 13th (1980)
The one that started it all! The production values are at their worst, yet the gore effects hold up better than half the series thanks to Savini, who's talents are put to great use here. In this one Pamela Voorhees is out to seek revenge on teenage camp counselors because they "killed" her son, Jason!

This movie follows a very predictable formula, yet is one of the creepiest of the bunch. The low budget look of the film actually services it. I found myself creeped out by many of the scenes, and generally caring for a few of the semi-well written characters. The thing that drags this one down is the mediocre direction. It's admirable that they were able to shoot such a big movie on a low budget, but the director really does not do much that's unique.

The highlight of the film is the end where the killer is revealed, only to have her head chopped off ten minutes later. Another great moment is soon after... one of the most effective jump scares of all time! If you've seen it, you know what I'm speaking of!

7/10

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Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
With the surprise success of the first film Paramount quickly gathered the team of the original to create a sequel. Yet it does not seem rushed, in fact it's a more well made film than the original. The production values are better, even if the gore is not as unique and imaginative.

This is where the full grown killer Jason makes his first appearance... and it's his most frightening look! Before there was ever a hockey mask we had the burlap sack. I love the hockey mask, but this is so much creepier. Jason seems more like Leatherface, the creepiest slasher character of all time, and it makes the film work on a horror level.

Here the characters aren't very interesting, with the exception of Ginny. She is smart and realistic, and fights back with intelligence. By far the smartest character to ever grace the F13 films, and one of the more likable. The cinematography and direction is solid, which helps carry the film up from being weak.

6.5/10



Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
Originally filmed and shown in 3D, this episode gets a lot more cheesy than its predecessors. Though it's an entertaining mess all the same. The big detractor is the cheesy 3D cliches. So many objects are pointed at the camera it makes me wanna barf. At one point a character even looks DIRECTLY into the lens to make sure the object he's holding a centimeter from it doesn't hit. How did they miss that!?

However there is some great moments, the kills are decent and Jason gets his mask! Unfortunately the characters are once again mostly lifeless, and the writing is atrocious. It's entertaining though, and Jason looks awesome stalking and slaughtering his victims with his signature hockey mask.

6/10



Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
Halfway through the series we have the final chapter! How weird! One of my friend's mothers worked on this film. It seems everyone that lives in LA has worked on a film at one time or another though. It's a shame however, that her name was left out of the credits because back then there was no strict ruling about what names should appear at the end of movies.

This is a high peak for the series. Savini is back to deliver some awesome kills, the acting is good and there's multiple likable characters! Jason really delivers here too, the makeup effects breath new life into the character and the final moments as our characters are trying to survive are some truly awesome bits.

There is so much nudity in this one too! Almost every shot contains boobs. It seems the MPAA was on a break when this film was released... considering they had the makers butcher every other film in the series.

7.5/10

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Friday the 13th: The New Beginning (1985)
Since Jason was left dead at the end of the fourth film he does not appear in this entry. Instead we have a copycat killer whodunit mystery, and the little boy from the last entry appears here as a very developed 15 year old. Lucky this character is interesting, but unlucky that he speaks about four times in the whole movie.

This entry has somewhat of a story, and if it was executed correctly it could have been a decent movie. However it was not, and the resulting movie is a mixed bag mostly bordering on terrible. The one redeeming factor is that this has the highest body count of all the F13 movies. Every few minutes it seems someone is getting killed. I really relied on that to keep me entertained.

Other than that it's all mediocre filmmaking at its... best? worst? most mediocre? Anyway you look at it the film just seems plain dull.
4/10

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Friday the 13: Jason Lives (1986)
He's back and better than ever! The masked maniac that makes this series what it is returns. Mostly because the studio realized if they wanted to milk more money out of this he'd have to come back.

Good thing too, because the film is awesomely entertaining. It starts off with Tommy Jarvis, one of the few returning characters (from 4 and 5), accidentally resurrecting Jason from his grave. The way it plays out is cheesy, but not as much as I just made it sound. The zombie Jason that returns is badass, killing people left and right, making his way through the countryside.

Meanwhile a certain cop heavily suspects Tommy of the killings, so for a large part of the movie Tommy is on the run from the cops and Jason himself. This chunk feels kind of like Terminator 2 to me, except they're running from a zombie killer instead of a robot. The film is decently made too, with adequate directing and cinematography. It all makes this one the most enjoyable of the bunch for me.

9/10

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Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
It's a little confusing how the titles bounce from excluding a sequel number, including "Jason," saying the series is over, and sometimes deciding to just have a subtitle. This one's title doesn't really make any sense in relation to the film it contains. Oh well, it's not as misleading as Godzilla's Revenge... which insinuated that we wouldn't be seeing a little kid's imagination the entire time.

ANYWAY, on to the film. This one's pretty decent, I didn't dig the whole Carrie vs. Jason vibe the latter part of the film gave off. Or that fact that it started delving deeper in to stuff like telekinesis. It doesn't really suit the F13 films. It could have been done far worse though, and the resulting film is adequately made and fun to watch. Shame the MPAA got at this one... there's so little violence. No memorable kills.

6/10

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Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Oh man, does that title ever live up to its cheesy expectations while simultaneously being very misleading. Manhattan is only shown during the last twenty minutes, and no Jason does not "take" Manhattan. Clovie took Manhattan. Jason walks around trying to find the heroine to kill. Rarely does he stop to do ANYTHING to the hundreds of people walking past him. That's not Jason! He's ruthless, he kills EVERYONE!

Some chunks of the film aren't too terrible, and most of it IS entertaining slop. The kills are pretty decent. However I wanted something more. Jason leaving a secluded woods and being in an urban area sounds awesome on paper! He'd be killing left and right! Instead most of this takes place on a boat which is even more limited than Camp Crystal Lake.
Ugh.
5/10

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And here starts something new, what I like to call the New Line Cinema trilogy. Once Paramount handed over the rights to New Line the series changed drastically, and has almost no continuity with the earlier films. Notice how none of them feature the Friday the 13th title... because that's the only right they didn't get.


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Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
I recently rewatched all the F13 films... except this one. This is the only one I absolutely cannot watch. It's just so horrible, it's basically the F13 series version of GINO.

FINO starts off ok enough, and there's this REALLY epic kill in the beginning in which a tent pole is stabbed through a woman's stomach and pulled up through her torso all the way out her shoulder.

After that though... woah, it's just terrible. Jason goes from a killer who's only thought is to KILL to someone who can possess people and have them kill for him. How... awesome? No, it's not awesome, even if it's a fairly cool idea for a horror movie. Judging this film standalone it still doesn't work, so I'm not just being one of those people who wants everything to stick to tradition. It's horribly made and dull, no suspense, no terror. Few redeeming values.
2/10

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Jason X (2001)
The series is running dry. Quick! Think of a fresh idea! Take Jason into the future! No, not good enough. Take Jason into SPACE! Yes! Yes! It's gotta work, it's so fresh! Every horror series works in space!

NO, NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Truthfully I wouldn't mind if it was done correct, which again it isn't. However this one's not nearly as bad as Jason Goes to Hell. It's a hell of a lot more entertaining, and features some great kills. The production values are high, but the acting reaches an all time low... even for F13 standards.

4/10


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Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Finally New Line does it right. Mashing the series together with the Nightmare on Elm Street series is something most people wanted to happen... and it works, well... sort of. On the plus side it works a HELL of a lot better than Alien vs. Predator. This is mostly because it doesn't have as much to live up to, but also because it's executed correctly.

The filmmakers realized that the two series have different styles, so they adapted this one's style into something unique, a mesh between them. The feeling is leaning more towards the Nightmare series though, with Freddy controlling everything. It's a bit sad good ol' Freddy only gets one real kill though, while my boy Jason gets twenty! Yee-haw!

Very entertaining, very awesome, done right even with all its flaws. Also, Jason totally won.

7/10




So there you go, Jason gets to kill 146 people, we get to watch! Oh... but wait! There's more...



Friday the 13th (2009)
Michael Bay produced this remake of the original... which feels more like a remake of the first four films combined. The first minute of the movie condenses all of Pamela Voorhees scenes into a flashback. The rest is all about Jason!

This film was fun, but it lacked the scariness it really should have had. Michael Bay really seems to have a greater effect on this film than a producer should. It's so over-glossy that it almost becomes transparent. There's no grittiness to it. However, most of it works, Jason is again just a killing machine, played awesomely by Mears. The kills are decent and the movie flows well.

One thing I totally LOVED about this movie was the pre-title sequence. One of the longest I've ever seen. The title of the movie doesn't come in until 25 minutes in and it leaves a big impact on us while also servicing as a card to tell us what the date is. Friday the 13th! BAM. That's how horror movies should start.

I had some problems with this one, though. Jason's character is kind of messed up. He does something Jason totally wouldn't do... he keeps a character captive! Ugh, Jason just kills. It's done in a way that makes it forgiveable though still annoying.

6.5/10

All 12 movies assessed! Wow that took a long time, but I'm still not done!

Jason's best looks:

1.) The New Blood
Spine exposed, decaying skin. Wow, GREAT job!
2.) The Final Chapter
Some great work done with this Jason.
3.) Part 2
The scariest Jason.
4.) Jason Lives
Pretty awesome, though we don't get an unmasking scene, sadly.
5.) Remake
I liked the way he looked in this one, though wish we got a better look at the face... it's not supposed to be subtle like that!
6.)Jason Goes to Hell
He was barely in it, but the embedded mask looked awesome! Too bad it was wasted on this horrible movie.
7.)Part III
Decent look.
8.)Part VIII
Sometimes looks alright, but the makeup work is inconsistent and the mask reveal is just... ehhhhh
9.) Jason X
Uber Jason... the look doesn't suit the character for me.
10.)Freddy vs. Jason
Jason's too big, his skin looks rubbery, and his clothes aren't as battered as they should be.

Some great kills:

1.)Tent pole through torso.
Jason Goes to Hell
2.) Face frozen in liquid nitrogen then smashed on table.
Jason X
3.)Axe through face/head... this one's stuck with me the most.
Friday the 13th (1980)
4.)Meat cleaver to face executed awesomely.
Part IV
5.)Arrow through neck, such gruesome imagery that looks real.
Friday the 13th (1980)
6.)Macheted in half while walking on hands.
Part III

1 comment:

  1. Niiiiice, I agree with you too! VI is awesome.

    ReplyDelete