Australia, the movie

The year is 1939, an important year for movies. Both Gone With the Wind and Wizard of Oz were released this year. Australia is influenced strongly by both of these films. Somehow it seems everyone in Australia has already seen Wizard of Oz and knows the songs, despite the film not being a huge hit on initial release. Nicole Kidman even gets to "sing" Somewhere Over the Rainbow, a song which has a huge part in Australia.



Australia's intentions are good; create a classic Hollywood-style melodrama with sweeping melodramatic romance and epic action sequences. To portray aboriginals in a fair and completely un-racist way. It achieves the first, and falls a bit short in its intentions with the last. In fact, by portraying the aboriginals as god-like the film becomes a bit racist itself. The aboriginals really achieved what they did by being the same as any of us, not anything more.



The movie tells the grand story of a love between an uptight British woman, portrayed by Nicole Kidman, and an outdoorsman Australian, simply known as... The Drover, who is played by Hugh Jackman. There's also Nullah, a mixed aboriginal/white boy who Nicole's character Lady Sarah Ashley feels very attached to. The boy is bright and energetic and played flawlessly by first-timer Brandon Walters.



The acting on the whole is superb, the two leads (Hugh and Nicole) give their best performances yet. Their chemistry is very much there, we can really get a feel of some kind of love between the two. The aboriginal cast is simply fantastic. I had absolutely no problems with the acting. A few moments went a little over the top, but it all fits because this is a larger-than-life production.



Characterization is a bit thin. The characters are drawn out nicely, and Nicole's character especially has great development, but we have seen this character arc before. The same goes for The Drover. Nullah's character is well done and is truthfully a cute character, it does not feel forced on us at all.



I was engaged in the grand scheme of the story, but it also felt a bit thin. Everything works out a bit too conveniently in the end. The dialogue is great, and feels right with a few cheesy moments that do not go too far over the line. The characters interact like real people, only a bit more polished at saying lines without any stumbling. The pacing is not slow, most of the movie moves pretty fast, but the film still ends up feeling overlong.



The special effects are good. The CGI was well incorporated, not over-done or over-the-top, but it was always obvious what was CGI and what wasn't. The practical effects are much better, though are not used very often. The sound effects are a little generic and nothing ground-breaking, but not bad either. They are used well to enhance scenes like one with 1500 cattle stampeding towards a cliff.



I was personally dissapointed with the climax. Either I am looking at the wrong place, or the scenes involving the bombing of Darwin were just too short. In real life the attack did not last long, but I was hoping for scenes that involved the characters more in the action. We just do not get that enough in period romances. There is enough action to satisfy, though, the cattle drive scenes are awesome in their epic splendor. The short Darwin attack scene is amazing, which is why I wanted more, the seconds as the planes sweep in are very effective in building tension.



Baz abandoned his usual style to create a more typical and by-the-numbers motion picture, but it is in no way unoriginal. Yes, it borrows heavily from past films like Gone With the Wind in particular, but every one of Australia's many cliches has a little twist that gives it a unique and fresh feel. The production values help in giving the film its epic feel and make the film feel very polished. I am not going to lie, there was aspects that I was greatly dissapointed with, but overall I feel I can call the film a good one.

7.5/10

Walking On Clouds... T-rex

Running in the clouds is always a dangerous activity...

The Weirdest Thing of the Day! (1)

http://www.inquisitr.com/30987/dear-god-no-coca-cola-is-test-marketing-a-fizzy-milk-drink/

This is the weirdest thing I've heard today... according to this link, and the link this link links to, Coca-Cola is test marketing a carbonated milk drink...


That's pretty weird! The guy in the link doesn't seem to like the idea, and the nutritional value of it DOES seem questionable, but I think I would try it... sounds very interesting, at least.

Insomnia

My insomnia decided to be a butthole tonight, so here I am at 6 am, still awake, still active, and still frustrated. I just spent over an hour trying to fall asleep and figured I'd rather try to make it through the rest of the day tired than go crazy trying to fall asleep.



Dear Insomnia,

You are a nuisance, I hope you realize that you have wasted hundreds of hours of my life. I bet you don't even care. Then again, I guess you have helped me. All of my best ideas come during the hours I lay awake at night, and even if I forget 90% of them when I wake, at least I had them. So, I guess what I'm trying to say, Insomnia, is thank you. I still hate you, but thank you.

What I'm Reading...

You may already be able to tell from the poor girl to my left that I am currently reading Les Misérables which is, so far, one of the best books I have ever read. I'm not much for the religious overtones, they sometimes seem a bit preachy, but if I just read past them I find the story itself to be very engaging.

Victor Hugo also includes a lot of his own views on the corruption of society, politics, and other things which give the book a very unique "flavor."

I hate to admit it, but the reason I started reading this book at all is my infatuation with the musical of the same name. Les Misérables is the best musical I have ever heard, and I recommend both it, and the book, to all that are interested.

Assesment of all the Friday the 13th Movies

As critically panned as it is large, the Friday the 13th series has been around for almost 3 decades. There's many traditions in the series, both intentional and unintentional that make it interesting. For instance it has many well-known actors in some of their earliest roles, like Kevin Bacon, Cory Feldman and Crispin Glover.

Since critically the series is a hopeless mess of celluloid, my ratings will be based purely on enjoyment.

There's some spoilers in all of this...

Let's start this:



Friday the 13th (1980)
The one that started it all! The production values are at their worst, yet the gore effects hold up better than half the series thanks to Savini, who's talents are put to great use here. In this one Pamela Voorhees is out to seek revenge on teenage camp counselors because they "killed" her son, Jason!

This movie follows a very predictable formula, yet is one of the creepiest of the bunch. The low budget look of the film actually services it. I found myself creeped out by many of the scenes, and generally caring for a few of the semi-well written characters. The thing that drags this one down is the mediocre direction. It's admirable that they were able to shoot such a big movie on a low budget, but the director really does not do much that's unique.

The highlight of the film is the end where the killer is revealed, only to have her head chopped off ten minutes later. Another great moment is soon after... one of the most effective jump scares of all time! If you've seen it, you know what I'm speaking of!

7/10



Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
With the surprise success of the first film Paramount quickly gathered the team of the original to create a sequel. Yet it does not seem rushed, in fact it's a more well made film than the original. The production values are better, even if the gore is not as unique and imaginative.

This is where the full grown killer Jason makes his first appearance... and it's his most frightening look! Before there was ever a hockey mask we had the burlap sack. I love the hockey mask, but this is so much creepier. Jason seems more like Leatherface, the creepiest slasher character of all time, and it makes the film work on a horror level.

Here the characters aren't very interesting, with the exception of Ginny. She is smart and realistic, and fights back with intelligence. By far the smartest character to ever grace the F13 films, and one of the more likable. The cinematography and direction is solid, which helps carry the film up from being weak.

6.5/10



Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
Originally filmed and shown in 3D, this episode gets a lot more cheesy than its predecessors. Though it's an entertaining mess all the same. The big detractor is the cheesy 3D cliches. So many objects are pointed at the camera it makes me wanna barf. At one point a character even looks DIRECTLY into the lens to make sure the object he's holding a centimeter from it doesn't hit. How did they miss that!?

However there is some great moments, the kills are decent and Jason gets his mask! Unfortunately the characters are once again mostly lifeless, and the writing is atrocious. It's entertaining though, and Jason looks awesome stalking and slaughtering his victims with his signature hockey mask.

6/10



Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
Halfway through the series we have the final chapter! How weird! One of my friend's mothers worked on this film. It seems everyone that lives in LA has worked on a film at one time or another though. It's a shame however, that her name was left out of the credits because back then there was no strict ruling about what names should appear at the end of movies.

This is a high peak for the series. Savini is back to deliver some awesome kills, the acting is good and there's multiple likable characters! Jason really delivers here too, the makeup effects breath new life into the character and the final moments as our characters are trying to survive are some truly awesome bits.

There is so much nudity in this one too! Almost every shot contains boobs. It seems the MPAA was on a break when this film was released... considering they had the makers butcher every other film in the series.

7.5/10



Friday the 13th: The New Beginning (1985)
Since Jason was left dead at the end of the fourth film he does not appear in this entry. Instead we have a copycat killer whodunit mystery, and the little boy from the last entry appears here as a very developed 15 year old. Lucky this character is interesting, but unlucky that he speaks about four times in the whole movie.

This entry has somewhat of a story, and if it was executed correctly it could have been a decent movie. However it was not, and the resulting movie is a mixed bag mostly bordering on terrible. The one redeeming factor is that this has the highest body count of all the F13 movies. Every few minutes it seems someone is getting killed. I really relied on that to keep me entertained.

Other than that it's all mediocre filmmaking at its... best? worst? most mediocre? Anyway you look at it the film just seems plain dull.
4/10



Friday the 13: Jason Lives (1986)
He's back and better than ever! The masked maniac that makes this series what it is returns. Mostly because the studio realized if they wanted to milk more money out of this he'd have to come back.

Good thing too, because the film is awesomely entertaining. It starts off with Tommy Jarvis, one of the few returning characters (from 4 and 5), accidentally resurrecting Jason from his grave. The way it plays out is cheesy, but not as much as I just made it sound. The zombie Jason that returns is badass, killing people left and right, making his way through the countryside.

Meanwhile a certain cop heavily suspects Tommy of the killings, so for a large part of the movie Tommy is on the run from the cops and Jason himself. This chunk feels kind of like Terminator 2 to me, except they're running from a zombie killer instead of a robot. The film is decently made too, with adequate directing and cinematography. It all makes this one the most enjoyable of the bunch for me.

9/10



Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
It's a little confusing how the titles bounce from excluding a sequel number, including "Jason," saying the series is over, and sometimes deciding to just have a subtitle. This one's title doesn't really make any sense in relation to the film it contains. Oh well, it's not as misleading as Godzilla's Revenge... which insinuated that we wouldn't be seeing a little kid's imagination the entire time.

ANYWAY, on to the film. This one's pretty decent, I didn't dig the whole Carrie vs. Jason vibe the latter part of the film gave off. Or that fact that it started delving deeper in to stuff like telekinesis. It doesn't really suit the F13 films. It could have been done far worse though, and the resulting film is adequately made and fun to watch. Shame the MPAA got at this one... there's so little violence. No memorable kills.

6/10



Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Oh man, does that title ever live up to its cheesy expectations while simultaneously being very misleading. Manhattan is only shown during the last twenty minutes, and no Jason does not "take" Manhattan. Clovie took Manhattan. Jason walks around trying to find the heroine to kill. Rarely does he stop to do ANYTHING to the hundreds of people walking past him. That's not Jason! He's ruthless, he kills EVERYONE!

Some chunks of the film aren't too terrible, and most of it IS entertaining slop. The kills are pretty decent. However I wanted something more. Jason leaving a secluded woods and being in an urban area sounds awesome on paper! He'd be killing left and right! Instead most of this takes place on a boat which is even more limited than Camp Crystal Lake.
Ugh.
5/10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And here starts something new, what I like to call the New Line Cinema trilogy. Once Paramount handed over the rights to New Line the series changed drastically, and has almost no continuity with the earlier films. Notice how none of them feature the Friday the 13th title... because that's the only right they didn't get.




Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
I recently rewatched all the F13 films... except this one. This is the only one I absolutely cannot watch. It's just so horrible, it's basically the F13 series version of GINO.

FINO starts off ok enough, and there's this REALLY epic kill in the beginning in which a tent pole is stabbed through a woman's stomach and pulled up through her torso all the way out her shoulder.

After that though... woah, it's just terrible. Jason goes from a killer who's only thought is to KILL to someone who can possess people and have them kill for him. How... awesome? No, it's not awesome, even if it's a fairly cool idea for a horror movie. Judging this film standalone it still doesn't work, so I'm not just being one of those people who wants everything to stick to tradition. It's horribly made and dull, no suspense, no terror. Few redeeming values.
2/10

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason X (2001)
The series is running dry. Quick! Think of a fresh idea! Take Jason into the future! No, not good enough. Take Jason into SPACE! Yes! Yes! It's gotta work, it's so fresh! Every horror series works in space!

NO, NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Truthfully I wouldn't mind if it was done correct, which again it isn't. However this one's not nearly as bad as Jason Goes to Hell. It's a hell of a lot more entertaining, and features some great kills. The production values are high, but the acting reaches an all time low... even for F13 standards.

4/10




Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Finally New Line does it right. Mashing the series together with the Nightmare on Elm Street series is something most people wanted to happen... and it works, well... sort of. On the plus side it works a HELL of a lot better than Alien vs. Predator. This is mostly because it doesn't have as much to live up to, but also because it's executed correctly.

The filmmakers realized that the two series have different styles, so they adapted this one's style into something unique, a mesh between them. The feeling is leaning more towards the Nightmare series though, with Freddy controlling everything. It's a bit sad good ol' Freddy only gets one real kill though, while my boy Jason gets twenty! Yee-haw!

Very entertaining, very awesome, done right even with all its flaws. Also, Jason totally won.

7/10




So there you go, Jason gets to kill 146 people, we get to watch! Oh... but wait! There's more...



Friday the 13th (2009)
Michael Bay produced this remake of the original... which feels more like a remake of the first four films combined. The first minute of the movie condenses all of Pamela Voorhees scenes into a flashback. The rest is all about Jason!

This film was fun, but it lacked the scariness it really should have had. Michael Bay really seems to have a greater effect on this film than a producer should. It's so over-glossy that it almost becomes transparent. There's no grittiness to it. However, most of it works, Jason is again just a killing machine, played awesomely by Mears. The kills are decent and the movie flows well.

One thing I totally LOVED about this movie was the pre-title sequence. One of the longest I've ever seen. The title of the movie doesn't come in until 25 minutes in and it leaves a big impact on us while also servicing as a card to tell us what the date is. Friday the 13th! BAM. That's how horror movies should start.

I had some problems with this one, though. Jason's character is kind of messed up. He does something Jason totally wouldn't do... he keeps a character captive! Ugh, Jason just kills. It's done in a way that makes it forgiveable though still annoying.

6.5/10

All 12 movies assessed! Wow that took a long time, but I'm still not done!

Jason's best looks:

1.) The New Blood
Spine exposed, decaying skin. Wow, GREAT job!
2.) The Final Chapter
Some great work done with this Jason.
3.) Part 2
The scariest Jason.
4.) Jason Lives
Pretty awesome, though we don't get an unmasking scene, sadly.
5.) Remake
I liked the way he looked in this one, though wish we got a better look at the face... it's not supposed to be subtle like that!
6.)Jason Goes to Hell
He was barely in it, but the embedded mask looked awesome! Too bad it was wasted on this horrible movie.
7.)Part III
Decent look.
8.)Part VIII
Sometimes looks alright, but the makeup work is inconsistent and the mask reveal is just... ehhhhh
9.) Jason X
Uber Jason... the look doesn't suit the character for me.
10.)Freddy vs. Jason
Jason's too big, his skin looks rubbery, and his clothes aren't as battered as they should be.

Some great kills:

1.)Tent pole through torso.
Jason Goes to Hell
2.) Face frozen in liquid nitrogen then smashed on table.
Jason X
3.)Axe through face/head... this one's stuck with me the most.
Friday the 13th (1980)
4.)Meat cleaver to face executed awesomely.
Part IV
5.)Arrow through neck, such gruesome imagery that looks real.
Friday the 13th (1980)
6.)Macheted in half while walking on hands.
Part III

TMNT... aka the CGI Ninja Turtles IV

TMNT is a loose sequel to the previous three Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films. When I first heard about its "loose sequel" status I was kind of worried as to how different it was. I now realize this was a very smart move since it allows them to take more liberties with the plot without upsetting the continuity of the previous films.

Leonardo has been training in a Central American jungle on the orders of his master, Splinter. April goes out to retrieve him, and eventually he comes back to New York City. And just in time too, as evil is afoot. An almost-evil man is trying to gather thirteen monsters to set a group of stone warrior-things free from their curse. Okay, there's a lot more to the plot than that, and I think it's a good thing that it's beyond my capabilities to explain it in a concise way, it means it's more complex than the other turtles films.

All the characters are once again written well, their characterizations are closer to that of the first film, this is a serious plus for the film. The character development is great, Raphael and Leonardo are the central focus of the film. Raphael has been going out at night in the disguise of the "Nightwatcher" because he has been itching to get back into the vigilante crime fighting world ever since Leonardo left. This subplot reaches a climax that is one of the most spectacular scenes I've ever seen in a CGI animated movie. It's a fight between the brothers in the rain that's so well animated that it makes your jaw drop.

The animation is amazing. It's stylized but at the same time surprisingly realistic, the turtles move with speed and in a ninja-like way. This previously couldn't be achieved due to the limitations of turtle suits. It's so awesome to watch the group jump around the New York City skyline like real ninjas. The turtles new lair is awesome! It's kind of unrealistic that such a big place could exist under New York City without someone noticing, but at the same time it feels a lot more homey than the previous home they were living in.

The dialogue here is just as good as the first's. I loved it, the jokes were all funny and Mikey gets in some really funny lines, and they didn't make him look stupid like the trailers might lead you to believe. The voice acting is perfect, better than any of the other films. I fell in love with all the voices. Sarah Michelle Gellar is great as the new April, who fights alongside the turtles now. Ziyi Zhang adds depth to Karai. Her Chinese accent is amazing and seductive. Chris Evans plays a great Casey Jones, the character is finally done justice again.

The score is good. I liked the themes, but didn't care much for the modern songs used in some scenes. The tone of the film is similar to the first's, it's dark and the sprinkling of jokes(in the right places too) makes a good contrast against it. The city is dark, since the turtles only go out at night, like they're supposed to. Most of the shots are really different and interesting, like some of the ones that zoom quickly around the city. The turtles also get to fight and use their weapons like they never were able to before, yay!

In the end I greatly enjoy this film. The plot belongs in a superhero film, the turtles were never meant to save the Earth, and they practically do here. However, they made it work pretty well, the film is a success in many aspects, the pacing is fast and even, just like the first, and at 87 minutes it speeds by well. Great film.

7/10

The Painted Veil

The Painted Veil often feels like a typical period drama, but at other times it feels like something a bit more unique. Kitty (Naomi Watts) and Walter (Edward Norton) do not make your typical romantic couple either, and the way they fall in love is much different than you would expect. In other words, Kitty feels forced in to the marriage with Walter and does not feel connected to him in any way, until later.



The film is about the loveless marriage between the two, how they met, and how after realizing that Kitty is having an affair Walter desides to punish her. He takes her to a small village in China with a cholera epidemic. Walter is a doctor and is overwhelmed with the amount of work he has treating the many victims of the disease, and has the job of controlling it from spreading.

Watts and Norton are both superb in their roles, which are also characterized in three-dimensions. Also something unique to this genre, instead of stealing character outlines from past films. All of the other characters in the film are minor roles, but the acting is great all around, regardless.

Some of the story feels a bit forced, and is often quite predictable. I felt that I knew what was going to happen around every corner. That is usually what happens with such a simple story. It is well-told and well played out, but it is not anything remarkable. I did find it to be stronger than most romances, though.

The score is subtle and weaves in and out of the film perfectly, playing over moments without dialogue and becoming almost unnoticeable, but still there, in parts with a lot of talking. It is mostly simple piano themes, but they are pretty instead of irritating.

The pace of the film is often slow, but I did not feel the need for the film to move any faster than it did. At just over two hours, I think it is just the right length. Perhaps, though, some scenes, particulary towards the end could have been more drawn out and scenes toward the middle could be tightened up. Since we know how the middle will play out, I did not think we needed as much as we got.



The cinematography is breathtaking. What it lacks in large helicopter shots typical of the genre, it makes up for in photographing the Chinese countryside in a subtle and beautiful way.



7.5/10

Go Speed Racer!!!!

Speed Racer is a film that you should expect something different from. Anyone who has seen even a glimpse of the original show could tell you how cheesy and over-the-top it is. Guess what? That's what the makers of this movie intended for the film.

Extraordinarily few films have been able to get just the amount of cheesiness and not go so over-the-top and become cringeworthy. Speed Racer is one of those films. Everything is perfectly too much, the performances are amazing. With few exceptions everyone in the film seems to have found the perfect balance of slight realism with a little over acting and corniness. The film is directed in a way that reminds us of the original cartoon, even if you have not seen it. It is inventive and stylish.



Christina Ricci has one of the best performances in the film, and is very fitting with her large eyes and cartoonish features.

The plot is not completely coherent, but it actually works, and is actually a lot more understandable than something like Pirates of the Caribbean. It is surprisingly engaging and in more than one part I felt like I was going to cry. One of the subplots, however, sadly fails and brings the movie down. This plot involves Speed's younger brother and a primate. It is sometimes funny, and the kid really tries and is not a bad actor, but it became a bit annoying to me, and I could see the subplot really getting on other people's nerves.



Thankfully though, there is plenty of things that save the film too, it is ambitious and fast paced and the two hour plus running time goes by quick. I was never bored once during the film, and the races are all spectacular. Yes, the special effects are also very corny and unrealistic but I did not expect anything realistic from the trailer... and no one should, this is Speed Racer.


The special effects are cartoony, but work well within the context of the film.

So, I recommend you see Speed Racer with an open mind, it is one of the most underrated films I have seen recently.

Cool beans!

entirely critical- 7/10
regular scale- 8/10

More Kate Winslet Manips

These ones are a bit better, the first picture is the original image and the rest are manipulations I did...(I tried to make her look like Gwen Stefani in this one ^)


Yeah, I realize these really are not too great, and most have fairly obvious flaws but I tried. haha, and once again; Kate Winslet is great the way she is, I just wanted to mess around.

Kate Winslet Photo Manipulation

The original picture:

Random manipulations of the picture:
(notice the Heart of the Ocean, lol)

Yeah, nothing impressive, just some silly manipulations... and FYI I think Kate is perfect the way she is.

The Not-So-Good 3rd Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III is a bad movie with good parts, that's really all you need to know. I don't enjoy it as much as the first or the second, but it's worth watching at least once. Even if it is just to see how bad it is.

I really could care less for the film's plot. The four turtles are thrown into feudal Japan because they touch some weird staff thing at a parallel time with four people in feudal Japan doing the same thing. I'm not quite sure how that worked out. The way the turtles acquire this staff is just stupid. Basically, April just brings it over and says "Splinter'll like this."

One of the best things about the film is that the turtles get to use their weapons. The fights are much better than the second's and are actually pretty exciting. The film is more like II than the first, it's more lighthearted, and surprisingly some of the jokes are pretty funny, and the dialogue in general isn't terrible, but it's not exactly well-written. The turtles voices are all great, and Cory Feldman makes a welcome return in the role of Donatello, I missed him in the second film.

The film's cinematography is pretty good, the sets and lighting are decent, the scenes in Japan look really great, but the scenes in the sewer look like a set. Outside of the turtles, the acting is pretty sub-par, Casey makes a return, but his character is nowhere near as great as it was in the first. April O'Neil is basically there just to give the turtles the plot, which is disappointing to me because I really enjoyed her character in the first, and to a lesser extent, the second.

The puppetry is bad. Splinter looks horrendous and moves like a robot. The turtles' suits look horrible, the lack of Henson's team is very obvious here. When their mouths move it really draws attention to how bad the mechanics are. The spots on their costumes are supposed to be subtle, not draw attention to themselves like in this film.

Now on to the pacing, it's bad, the first two had terrific pacing and editing, here it's jumpy, and often intercuts with modern day scenes at the worst times. I also liked the score, it matches well with the time period. The film is just nowhere near as good as you'd want it to be, but it's also not terrible. It's watchable and enjoyable enough, and I pop it in every once in a while because it has its moments.

5/10

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II The Secret of the Ooze

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze is a less thought-out and well-shot film than its predecessor. It also has many more flaws, and amplifies the flaws in the previous entry instead of fixing them. Despite this though, it delivers an entertaining ride that you should enjoy if you liked the first.

From the beginning it's easy to see the differences in this film. The movie starts will a nice montage of people eating pizza that will really make you hungry for the turtles' favorite food. The turtles are soon discovered by a new character, Keno. This guy's characterization isn't strong, but he's still interesting enough for us to like him. So, it turns out The Shredder is still alive and the turtles have to stop him again.

One drawback for me is the fact that the brothers barely get to use their weapons. I mean, come on, in the first action sequence Michaelangelo actually uses sausage links to fight! The film often uses things like this to please the people who complained about too much violence in the first film. The sacrifice is that these scenes are very out of character, I mean, the turtles are specifically trained to use their weapons, it's just disappointing that they don't. Another result of the parents complaining about the violence is the entire tone is a lot more lighthearted than the first's. This is just a shame, but at the same time, is one of the things I like about the film. This is a children's comedy, and that's where it works.

The dialogue is decent, especially for the type of film it is. Some of the lines went too over-the-top for my tastes, but they weren't as bad as they could of been. It's obvious that many of the things that I think are ridiculous in it are going to be found entertaining by kids. So, I'll forgive it for some of the more cheesy lines.

The film's cinematography is adequate. The sewer looks more like a set this time, and Shredder's lair is not as badass as his old one. The lighting is okay, sometimes things seem too well lit for where they take place. The acting is decent, the turtles voices are almost as good as they were in the first, but the lack of Cory Feldman sucks. And the new April O'Neil is nowhere near as captivating of a character, mostly because of her performance.

Just like the first, the puppetry is top-notch. I have some complaints about it, like the fact they made no attempt to hide the line where the mask meets the costume, and that Mikey's head is shaped odd, and too small. However the puppetry in this is heaps better than in the third movie. It's disappointing they didn't try harder though, as the budget was twice as big this time around.

Everything else ranges from forgettable to decent. The film is pretty well-made, but a lot of it is lackluster. I find myself entertained by the movie though, because the characters are mostly kept intact and there is some great moments...I won't mention the Vanilla Ice song.

6/10

The First Ninja Turtles Movie!!

There's certain movies that seem to automatically get bad criticism because of their titles and subject. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is one of them. Now, many people like the Ninja Turtles, but most seem to think it's childish and not worth their time. This is so not true, and the first movie, obviously titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, makes this evident.

The movie tells the story of four mutant turtles trained by their rat master Splinter. Splinter learned the art of ninjistu from his owner back in Japan. When Splinter came to America he found the four turtles in a sewer. The turtles were mutated by some ooze and Splinter was too. He eventually taught them to be ninjas so he could take revenge on the man who killed his master, Oroko Saki, or, The Shredder.

Okay, I'll admit, even as I wrote that it sounded farfetched(but so unique), but the film takes this story and brings it down(under?) to Earth and makes it very believable. All the characters are written well, their stories are rich and interesting, and their development during the film is one of its strongest points. It's obvious there's tension among the brothers, they live in an enclosed sewer and they are usually aching to fight. This is played out well within the film. April and Casey are also well written.

There's so much good to say about this film, and even though it has its flaws they are FAR overshadowed. The cinematography is gritty and just amazing. The sets are flawlessly crafted, it really feels like a cramped makeshift home down in the sewer, and New York City feels like an American city, not some glossy representation of one. The scenes on April's farm are so well shot...it's breathtaking to me. It's great to just take in all the detail.

One source of criticism seems to be the dialogue, and frankly, you either like it or you don't. I fall into the former group, these turtles feel like four teenage brothers and even though some of it's cheesy, the dialogue never gets cringe-worthy, so it's all good. The acting is also great, the four turtles voices are quirky and fun, and the human actors deliver raw and just plain realistic performances. April's reaction to the turtles is especially realistic, she has to portray so many emotions at once, and she pulls it off perfectly.

The puppetry is top-notch, it's obvious Jim Henson was the master at this stuff, the detail on the turtles and the way there mouths move make it so much better. Just look at the muscles on their legs...perfect. The fighting choreography is great, it's obvious that there's limitations in using turtles in suits to portray ninjas, but the filmmakers got past that and made the action effective and interesting.

I love the score/soundtrack. It is really interesting, and the MC Hammer stuff is actually good. There's some subtle stuff that carries enough emotion to move us when it needs to. The pacing and editing is perfect, the movie goes by at an even and exciting speed. The direction is also really worth noting, and it's obvious the makers of this film really went far to please the fans. It combines the best of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the gritty realism that made the comics great, and the fun dialogue and humor that made the 80s show fun.

8.5/10

A Movie Review

I promise my blog won't be entirely movie reviews, just... I have a few held up that need to be released into the wild. This is my review of the second Hellboy movie...


Hellboy II is a visual feast that you cannot take your eyes off of. The script is not particularly strong, but Guillermo del Toro puts so much in to the film that you just cannot wait to get to the next set piece and see all the amazing detail put in to the creatures, buildings, whatever.

The film is the sequel to the modestly successful Hellboy, which I enjoyed very much, about a demon from hell made to destroy Earth that does not want to. He finds more in common with humans than anyone else and forms a bond with them. Hellboy II is fantastic and moves with grace from place to place and everytime you feel a scene is beginning to drag del Toro makes you wish you had not even thought that by giving you an awesome action scene, an awesome looking creature, or a nice, subtle character scene (gasp!).

It is safe to say I loved the film, and almost all its aspects. The score and music choice was great. The cinematography, while slightly disappointing coming off of Pan's Labyrinth, was impressive and unique for a 'Hollywood Blockbuster' type film. The special effects were the most notable good point, what they lacked in realism (though they were quite good in that department, what with this film's supposedly 60 million dollar budget) they definitely made up for in the creative department. I think I'd call Hellboy II's effects the most aesthetically pleasing I have ever seen.

One scene in particular impressed me. The troll market scene, where our main characters enter an area full of imaginative characters so lifelike and original we can't find a place to rest our eyes. While I was watching the film I thought I was clever by making a comparison to the Star Wars cantina scene ("on steroids" I would have said) only to come home, read some reviews, and find out that is what every one else thought too.

The acting was also fantastic. I do not like Ron Perlman, in Alien: Resurrection he was horrible (though many other things in that film were too), but here he just completely rocks. Selma Blair is also someone I am not too fond of, but she is fitting in her role as a flaming beauty. It all just works wonderfully in the film.

Basically, if you like your films unique and imaginative, Hellboy II is for you. Even if you did not like the first film, I recommend this one, it's one of the better films of a great year; 2008.


7/10

Hello World

I go by many names, the one I was born with will not be used for this blog... at least for now. You can call me Sen, I suppose. It's an extraordinarily simple name, and you may recognize it from the Japanese animated film Spirited Away.

I don't know how to classify myself, and I don't know exactly what you could get from this blog but I hope something of even mild quality will be had from your experience reading it. I do not like to use positive words when describing myself, but I have to say this anyway... My perspective on the world is unique. I have the capability of liking just about anything. For example, sometimes I'm in the mood where I feel a bit spiritual... I feel as if the world is actually a good place that has something to offer me during these times. Other times I can just be militantly atheistic bordering on nihilistic. Neither of these are bad things, and I enjoy both of them equally, I suppose.

I am an animal rights mild-activist, meaning I'm really lazy but I would put my life on the line to save animals in need if the situation arose! I'm actually a "mild-activist" for just about any rights, and I'm very against any sort of prejudice. I feel like people always say they're unprejudiced when they really are. I have found people with the weirdest sort of prejudices. For instance; a prejudice against people with cancer! Things like this just make no sense to me. I have since stopped talking to this particular person, but I'd really like to know... How can you hold something that is completely out of a person's control against them? It's ridiculous.

Well, that concludes my first pointless rant, I hope you enjoyed it.